The Waiting Game

After having brain surgery, if I want something, I want it *now*! I had never fathomed the way an imbalance of impatience could ostracized me as an adult woman with an invisible disability. I’ve connected with many other brain injury survivors out there who have had impacts on their executive functioning and impatience. They may also relate to the feeling of striving to complete something faster than possible, yet not understanding the challenge.

Post-surgery, many of us have often forgotten a lot of things, and re-learning is hard work. We all deserve a trophy for making it this far.

I’m constantly pondering how is it not possible that although I have this “super awesome, fancy e-bike (I’m channeling a Saturday morning cartoon’ excitable voice here), I’m so disinterested in even leaving my home to go for a bike ride? What do I need to do to channel that inner Tour-de-France excitement?

Then I remember that I’m part of a community with a really limited number of spoons per day. And that remembering the steps to riding that bike takes more energy and determination for me than a simple “spin around the neighbourhood” would take for a random person. Overthinking has become my new hobby. The amount of time that goes into getting to that point of I’ve made my decision is exhausting.