Words Matter

November 10, 2025

I’m a firm believer in taking back the power from insults and misused words. This process requires intentional reflection, self-compassion, and sometimes collective action. Words like “ret**ded” and “g*y” were thrown around on the playground when I was a child without much awareness, but they create lasting wounds on those who hear them or grow up feeling defined by them. As adults, healing and reclaiming our worth is possible—and important.

Words Matter

Words used to diminish or insult can cause psychological distress and change the way we view ourselves. The lingering effects of this harm isolates us from fully engaging with our community, causing anxiety, pain, and distorted self-image. Brains are wired to pay attention to threatening language, making recovery a process that begins and continues into adulthood – sadly, the harm has already been done.

Reclaiming Words

Reclaiming language is a powerful tool for regaining control and self-respect. Some groups turn hurtful terms into signals for change, transforming their meaning through ownership. I’m familiar with individuals that prefer to be called “disabled by society” – it’s factually accurate from the person’s individual perspective, and puts the onus on society to adapt its ableist history, assumptions, and architecture. For individuals, reframing how you view or use words can strip them of their old venom and fill them with new, positive energy. Deciding which words to reclaim is a personal choice, and the intent behind the word choice is critical.

Healing Emotional Wounds and Building Strength

Healing starts with developing self-compassion and understanding that some of the emotional tools you weren’t offered in childhood can be built now. Introspection—thinking about why certain words hurt or replaying past experiences—may assist in processing and releasing old pain. Therapy, supportive relationships, and creating new experiences where empathy and respect replace cruelty all contribute to recovery.

My Tips to Taking Back Power

• Practice responding to uninformed individuals calmly or educating them with thoughtful questions, shifting the power dynamic.

• Speak up and assert your boundaries, even if the insult is subtle or cultural.

• Surround yourself with uplifting language and people who see your value beyond words.

• Share your story and connect with others who have faced similar struggles—community helps transform pain into solidarity.

Reclaim Your Inborn Power

Strength lies in remembering that you are worthy of respect from each individual you interact with, regardless of your wounds or vulnerabilities. By building new foundations of emotional intelligence and self-respect, you can prevent words from your past no longer dictate your present self-worth or your future aspirations.